13

I chose the plainest abaya i have for 3ziz's 5alaf nothing too fancy. 

I wore it and kept my hair as low a bun can be so it doesn't look big at the back when i wear shaila on.

I looked at myself in the mirror it looks weird, but i liked how i looked with shaila on. It's like all they can see is my face nothing but that all the rest of me is nothing but a hidden treasure, i'm actually considering wearing it.

I went to my mum, she was ready but was really anxious and worried. I could see it. "Yma shfeech?" I asked.

"Mafeni shy 7beebty yala nmshi" she replied. We left our house and headed to where the women 5alaf was, which is shaikha's house because it was big enough for all the guests. 

"Wain el5alaf?" Asked my mother.

"Bait refejty shaikha 3la ma3t8d"

I replied. She just hmm-ed.

We reached her house. This time there was many cars parked. 

We entered and was greeted by shaikha's mother. Her mother had a shocked expression i'm going to guess it's because i look freakishly like her daughter. Which i totally forgot about, it will now officially be very awkward inside. I entered and scanned the place searching for shaikha. There she was sitting next to a lady, someone random i really don't know anyone here. Shaikha looked very pale and very depressed. She lifted her head and a huge smile laid on her face. I greeted everyone and it was more of a "36'm allah ajrkm" chants. I reached to where shaikha sat and gave her the biggest hug i could do.

"36'm allah ajrch 7beebty" i said, 

"Ajrna w ajrch" she had teary eyes but smiled anyways. 

[Hessa's Mother POV]

I sat there motionless. 

I was panicking actually. I shouldn't of come here. I could see his current wife attacking me with her eyes as if i was an unwanted beast among them. 

I wouldn't blame her, i didn't care anyways. I just sat there and talked to the woman next to me. I didn't know her but i just tried to kill time.

I scanned the house, it was big last time i remember the house they lived in was smaller than our living room.

I had to provide hessa a better childhood. Apparently he was able to himself, i'm amazed. it doesn't matter i'm living in luxury now and i'm happy.

 It has been 2 hours i decided we should leave. I couldn't stay any further. 

"Yma hessa gomi" i insisted. 

She looked at me and asked for few more minutes. I agreed but told her only few and that i'll call the driver. 

The driver arrived, so i got up.

"Yala ana bakon flsayara" i said and after giving everyone a farewell i left.

That's when i saw him. 

"Halla halla sharaftena" said my son. 

The son i told hessa that he died.

The son i abandoned when he was young. That's how it stayed for several years now.

I had to i couldn't stay. I couldn't stand that life i was in. I deserved better. I took hessa with me too. 

I choose her randomly because they're twins so it's the same.

"Halla abdulrahman" i said with a smile. 

He looked at me in disgust. 

"Wipe that smile off your face" 

He coldly hissed at me. 

It isn't like i'm his mother.

"E7trm nfsk" i ordered.

"A7trm ely yst78 ele7tram" he said even more colder.

I was shocked by his words, he had all the right, after all he was young and god knows all the trash his father told him about me.

"Shtswen hne?!" He coldly asked more like telling.

"What's going on?" Asked hessa with a shocked expression.

Oh god. She must of heard.

"Hessa 5alnmshi." I ordered.

He hh-ed and said "You have never changed, you're still the same bossy demanding woman that i know" And he turned around and just disappeared in the shadows.

I stood there, frozen.

I was shocked, how much hate he had for me. All these years.

"Yma?" Hessa asked, i could tell how confused she is right now.

"Ensi elmw9'oo3." I said as i went ahead and entered the car.

Hessa kept pushing me to tell her what was going on but i just ignored her.

I didn't know what to say.

I worked hard to keep this a secret.

I didn't want her to know that the person she calls her father isn't even her father.

And it's all so complicated, i wouldn't know how to start and I'm just afraid that i'll lose her after that. 

But sooner or later, she'll find out, 

and it's going to get ugly, i know it.

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

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12

After my brothers heart warming speech. I got up and done my morning duties consisting of showering, washing my face, brushing my teeth and all the other good stuffs.

I left, prayed and headed downstairs for breakfast. I was greeted by my mother, father and moments later my brother. We had a morning chit chat and then my dad said, "enzain Abdulrahman bnrou7 3gb shwy 7g eldfan" 

My brother looked at me and back at my father and just nodded.

I wanted to ask them about the reason for his death, i was unsure if i should but i did anyways, i turned to my dad and asked "yba shlon twafa?" 

Silence filled the fresh coffee filled air as they all faced me, then my father finally spoke, "7adth sr3a."

I was shocked even tho it was a possibility in how 3ziz might die. I have warned him several times. He's a year older than me because he failed a year so he's 18 now, but i have warned him, he didn't listen, now he's gone. 

"Oh" was all i could say.

I ate a bit and then got up 

and headed upstairs.

I started re-evaluating my life.

How it was and how it might be.

Many many thoughts invaded my inner peace. I had nothing to do but just lay there and let it devour me away.

[Abdulrahman's POV]

I watched my sister as she got up and left. My heart ached as i saw the pain in her face grow after knowing how he died. 

Usually when i had the idea that my sister might love someone i'll grow furious but this was different. He was there for her and basically pulled her out of a very dark, empty and deep well.

He maybe a smoker and like they say "9ay3" but that didnt matter because when they're together he isn't that 9ay3. He's 3ziz and nothing but that. He made my sister happy and i was well aware of that.

I excused myself and went to my room so i could change to thoub for the dfan.

It isn't a normal thing for me, to go to a burial, this was my first and as weird as it sounds yes it is my first. The only death i experienced was my grandfather and i was about 4 so i wasn't taken to it.

I didn't even care because i was a child and all i wanted was to play with the other kids.

Weeks after my grandfather died, my parents had an argument. It was so intense that my mother left us and never came back. I hated every inch of her.

I even cringe at the thought, that she left us for money. She preferred wealth and power over love and family. I was well aware of everything back then, they just thought i was a child and that i didn't understand anything yet, but i did. I knew everything back then.

Suddenly pictures of hessa flooded through my mind as i changed my clothes. My mother had her. I laughed at that thought, "No wonder she switched with shaikha" i said and just hh-ed. 

I didn't care no matter how much they looked alike i was still very happy to finally meet her and i wanted to tell my father about it. He needed to know. 

[Hessa's POV]

Today was my second week in this school, and d3ay had to stay at the hospital a little longer. That actually worries me because i was told they needed to do more testing and that they are suspicious about something, i know deep down that this isn't going to end well.

I left to school. 

As i was entering i saw 9gr entering at the same time with me. He seemed sad, but why wouldn't he as i remember last week, they're pretty close. I wouldn't blame him.

Shaikha didn't come, i think it has to do with the 5alaf. So it's okay. Lunch time was a bit odd and for the first time i actually feel awkward sitting around them. 

"Gosh this is so weird." sara announced. M7md chuckled.

9gr was emotionless.

"Mb zain chthe" i finally spoke.

They all looked at me. I started panicking i didn't know what to say.

"Latd5lain" said 9gr with a serious face and a more like an angry look. It's like i didn't know what i was saying. Like i am not meant to be around them.

I just looked at him, in total shock. 

"9gr!" Yelled m7md in defence.

He hh-ed and got up. I stood up and asked him to stop but he just left.

"5le he'll be fine" said m7md.

I sat back. This was all new to me, i mean i have known people with grandparents dying, uncles and aunts but never have i witnessed a friends death. I didn't know how to react in those situations. Not to mention 9gr's sudden angry issue's towards me.

We all just kept quiet i sat next to sara facing m7md. Neither of us went after him. It just felt wrong, i think we all should go after him and comfort him but i guess men rules are different. I really didn't care about his anger towards me it doesn't matter i fully understand why.

"Lat7aten" said m7md again.

I looked at him and nodded.

I do remember him telling me he's good at reading body language, i didn't know he was that good. 

It has been at least 5 minutes since 9gr left. We sat and talked about 3ziz and how he was. I understood many things about him and why shaikha and 9gr cared that much, and the fact that he's shaikha's cousin i didn't see that coming.

I'm actually surprised he's like the soul of this group. I wasn't going to let that destroy the happiness they had. 

I wanted to make things better we may have lost him but that doesn't mean we have to be this depressed over it. We should keep him alive by being who we were when he was around.

[M7md's POV]

My father was a drunkard, he used to beat my mother most of the nights. He divorced my mother then married another woman and left my mother and i when i was only 10 to rot alone, so we stayed at my uncles place, and he took care of us, provided us with everything. He is married and had a daughter right before his wife passed away while giving birth to her. Her name was Noora. She's a year younger than me. 

I grew up having no father around me. I was the only man that protected my mother. I grew up to never cry. No matter how sad a situation is i couldn't cry.  I became stone hearted when it came to emotions.

However, I always look at the bright side of things and push away the negative thoughts that's something i also grew up to do. If i had negative thoughts my mother wouldn't be as happy as she is now. 

9gr has all the right to be angry and sad. 

He keeps telling me that it's his fault because he dared him to be at his maylas in less than 5 minutes. I knew this would happen. He didn't.

Well i need not proceed. 

Yet it wasn't necessary to say that to hessa, she done nothing wrong. 

I sat there watching hessa, worry about him as i repeatedly kept asking her to calm down. I love how she's worrying even though he basically just said a rude thing to her. Then we started talking about 3ziz again, and bringing back the memories.

All she did was smile. She had the most beautiful smile ever. She may look like shaikha and it is weird for me to say it, but i think that they have totally different smiles. 

Call me crazy but i like her in someway, but then again i barely know her, so it is hard for me to tell yet. 

I kept staring at her, just watched her smile and heard her beautiful laugh and how her hair fell on her face and i noticed sara giving me glances indicating me to stop staring and that i look weird. So i decided i'll go and check on 9gr. 

"Wain?" Asked hessa.

Okay my heart skipped a beat when she asked me that. I took a deep breath to get that feeling away.

I didn't want to like her, i made an oath that i will not fall in love. Especially after what happened to my mother. I may be different than my father but i still didn't want to.

"barou7 7g 9gr" i gave her a smile and left.

I knew exactly where to find him.

It has been our grouping spot ever since middle school.

The school mini garden, right next to the kindergarden playground

So i went for him and there he was. Sitting on the grassy ground with his legs crossed and looking at kids from primary grade playing.

I sat next to him and spoke not a single word.

"Tt'thkr lma kna 93'ar lma kna kla nt'hawsh wgt ma nl3b kra?" He started still staring at the kids.

I chuckled and said "ayam ya5oi" 

He chuckled aswell and then stopped. He looked at me and said, "laish t7daita?"

I kept quiet i didn't know what words to say, he has been blaming himself the whole time. 

He looked back at the kids and watched them fight like we did.

"89'a2 w 8dr, allah katb mangdr en3'yr shy w kl shy lah 7kma mn rbk" i said as i watched the kids aswell. 

"Sh7kmta bl9'b6 laish ana ely gelt'ha laish mw ent laish mw a7d thani laish ana," i looked at him he was looking at the ground deep in thought i could only imagine what sort of thought those were.

"En6r w btfhm brou7k" thats when i got up. "Yala goom 5nrd mw zain el7zn 3l mayt" i told him as i reached for his hand indicating i wanted him to stand up. 

He smiled and got up. We headed back to the cafeteria, we watched as the girls were talking and giggling.

we sat with them and i asked "shttklmon 3n 9'7km wa9l lai bara3" 

"Geltlha 3n lma kna bnrou7 fog 9alat elgym w lma t7nglt 3al drai jdam klmn" she started laughing as if it just happened a while ago.

"Enzain bs my9'7k" i said trying to hide a smile.

Then 9gr laughed and so did hessa. It wasn't my fault i didn't know there was step, so i fell face first.

"Bs bs may9'7k 5ala9 msken" said sara i gave her a fake smile and said "7lfai bs"

I looked away due to this embarrassing memory that had to be brought up.

We went in silence, and we all were staring blankly at the table all of us deep in thoughts. I was myself ,and i had but of the slightest idea what was going in my mind.

"Asf" i heard 9gr say so I lifted my head to face him. He was looking at hessa.

I turned to look at hessa, she was shocked in an amazed form, unsure how to put it in the right expression.

"Makan g9di a39b 3laich asf" he apologised. I looked back at hessa, 

she was smiling and said

 "la 3ady i understand." 

We finally ended this school day, it went well. More than i expected. 

We grew found of hessa, we accept her as part of this little gang. We don't just easily like someone but she's different.

She left, and so did 9gr leaving me with sara. Well sara to be honest is hot, i have to admit. Last year was chaos for her because of all the boys that wanted her and all her problems with her ex-boyfriend but she's okay now. I myself i found her very attractive and was one of the boys but never did i say it to her face. It just felt wrong thinking it to start with.

"Well well well" she began.

"Wee shfeech?" I asked.

"You like hessa don't you?" She claimed. 

"La shd5l twni a3rfha shd3wa"

I replied.

"Don't chft shloun et6al3ha i know those hungry eyes when i see it" 

She claimed again. 

Wow hungry eyes?

Okay i may have been looking at her far more than i should be, but i was raised well enough to not look at a women as food or even as a source of time wasters. 

"Sara shd5l hungry eyes al7en" was all i could say.

"Don't play games i know that look, i've seen it a thousand times" she claimed again. 

"Assuming things and being sure are totally different things, w et3rfeni zain ana mafkr ebhl ashya" i replied, she was starting to get on my nerves, heck why was i even still here, where is that driver.

"I'm just stating a point of view chill"

She said while giggling.

"Whatever" i said without even looking at her just blankly staring at the packed roads full of parents and drivers here for the same reason.

"M7md!" i heard a squeaky voice call for me. What the heck.

I turned around to see lulwa a short, partially chubby, tanned skinned, long curly black haired girl rushing towards me.

I sighed and sara laughed.

"M7md shlounak?" She asked with a huge smile on her face.

Great just perfect.

"El7mdela" i coldly said. I don't know why am i always like that when i'm not found of someone i just end up being cold. I'm actually surprised that i'm doing well with hessa around.

Her smile is slowly fading i didn't like to make someone sad so i asked "5air yba amri?" With a smile on my face. She's a junior, and if i wasn't mistaken i think i heard someone tell me she liked me, but i didn't jump into conclusions. 

I tried to keep the conversation formal. It was a bit hard finding she's one excited girl. She talked to me about that they're planning a surprise birthday on thursday for one of her friends in this school and that she wanted me and the gang to be there.

I looked at sara and back at her. I thought about this thing going on now the whole 3ziz thing. I came to a conclusion that we need to lighten up a bit so i agreed. 

I and Noora reached home and greeted my mother. My uncle was there as well so i greeted him too.

"M7md yba t3al eg3d bklmk bmw9'o3 dgeega." Ordered my uncle. I could see my mother happy about whatever he was going to say. 

"Ent al7en a5r sna mdrsa, w ana w omk 8rrna en2mn lk sh3'l fe shrkty" he said.

What just..

I looked at my mother and she waited for my reaction to change to excitement and happiness but it didn't.

I didn't want to do business. I wanted to be a lawyer, i want to defend those who need defending. Like when my mother needed it but none was given.

"Wayhk maybshr bl5air" said my uncle.

"Bdon ehana 3mi bs ana 7ab adrs 78oo8" i replied.

My mother was aware of that. 

Right?

I looked at my mother she wasn't pleased. I don't like it when she's sad.

Especially that i caused that.

"Hathi 8rark w a7trma w shrkty mfto7a lk mta b3'ait." He gave me a smile, i smiled back kissed my mother's forhead and his. Excused myself and went to change for 5alaf 3ziz. 

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

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11

It was around 5:46 when hessa told me d3ay is in the hospital she assured me that i'll be told everything tomorrow.

Wow.

The moment she told me she was going out with him i didn't believe it i 

thought she was just covering up but she was serious. However, i was happy that she went for it but something didn't feel right.

I could honestly say at that time m7md had a thing for her. His reaction was priceless. I chuckled at that memory.

Moments later i heard my brother rushing out of his room so i left my room to check it out.

"7mani shsalfa?" I said trying to catch up with his pacing down the stairs.

He looked at me dead in the eye.

It was filled with shock and fear all together. I actually panicked at that.

He ignored me and rushed outside.

I called for him but he just ignored me and left.

Well... That's odd.

"Mama shsalfa?" asked my mother from the living room.

Oh mother dear i myself have no idea. I looked at her in silence and back to the door. That is the weirdest thing ever.

I went downstairs to sit with my mother and have little chit chat. I opened my phone to text sara about this she probably has a clue as my brother has a thing for her. I cringed at that thought they aren't together or anything but i didn't like the thought i don't know why.

Approximately 2 hours passed nothing from hessa nor my brother, and just as i thought of it my brother broke into the house. Well not literally but it felt like it. 

"Wgf mkank" my mother directed Abdulrahman, "Shfek shsalfa?" She asked.

He was in total terror. As if he saw a ghost. His face became pale he looked horrible. I was worried sick.

My mother got up and made him sit in between us. It isn't normal for me to see my brother like this. It frightened me.

"Yma" he finally spoke and paused. His eyes was looking out at nothing but the ground then he turned to face my mother and finally said those words "3ziz 36akm 3mra" 

My already pounding heart fell to my stomach. Did i listen right? Did he really just say that 3ziz passed away.  

I froze right there as i heard my mother shouting i didn't make out anything she said all i heard was my heart beat. One beat after another.

Yes 3ziz might be a jerk sometimes, yes he may be annoying and will quickly get on your nerves but i knew him better than anyone.

He's no just my cousin, he's also a best friend. When i was little i used to get bullied a lot for no apparent reason i used to cry myself to sleep, everyday i even thought of suicide but i know it isn't the answer and i had an amazing life outside of school so it wasn't worth it.

3ziz was part of it. He was with me from the start at first he didn't know, i told no one, i didn't want anyone to know and i didn't know why. Things got out of hand one day, so i was rushing myself to the bathroom after i burst running out of the class room.

 3ziz was skipping class that's when he saw me crying. He comforted me and promised me he will never let anyone harm me and that he will be with me no matter whatever happens.

He did i felt safe around him, no one approached me ever since that promise he made. I slowly gained confidence which made me who i am now primary was tough but here i am, having the best friends surrounding me, all 6 of them. Wait now we're 5.

That's 3ziz to me. At one point i actually had a crush on him. Why wouldn't i he was my hero. He was that little candle in the middle of a dark room. He was everything to me. 

Now he's gone.

I cried. When my brother saw me crying he just held me in his arms and rested my head on his chest. 

He has no idea. All he knows is that i'm crying because my cousin died, but it's much more than just that.

I didn't ask how he died him alone dying is more than i could bare. i'm surprised that i'm not hugging the floor yet.

After a long moment which felt like hours of mourning i decided i want to go upstairs. I just wanted to be alone. I needed to clear my mind. And the environment right now isn't helping.

Memories of him flashed before me.

His appearance everywhere whenever i was in trouble.

His jokes. His remarks. His cheesy comments. When he flirts. His smile. His laugh. His looks. The way he looked at me. I laughed it out.

And then cried. Somehow i think i'm slowly going crazy. 

I texted sara what happened.

Sara: "omg 3ziz :c"

Me: "i can't bare it sara it feels like my heart has been taken away"

Sara: "allah yr7ma gomi 9li rk3tain w d3ay 3sa allah yr7ma" 

She's always there for me. She knows what to say and when to say it.

So i got up and did what she asked me to do. As i prayed, i cried.

I can't help it, i asked god to forgive him w d3ayt rbi yr7ma w ythbta 3nd elso2al.

After i was done praying, and done crying. I went and texted sara again.

Me: "i don't want to go to school" 

Sara: "you shouldn't i'll take all your homeworks and assignments, and i'll bring them to you"

Me: "school will no longer be the same."

Sara: "true, he made us all alive, he's basically the candle of this group."

Me: "i know and he may have been a jerk and all sometimes but seriously with him gone it feels like a big part of me is gone too."

Sara: "you have all the right to feel so he and you were always one. Everyone knew it"

I smiled at this, and offcourse. I cried. Again..

I laid at my bed, closed my eyes and just slept. 

The next morning i got a msg from hessa it was about 9 something.

She told me about the accident and everything. Which made me grow suspicious over what if they both had an accident. I had no idea what was the cause of his death. I'll find sooner or later.

I told her that i'll be telling her something later. I didn't want to ruin her happiness. I didn't want to drag her to my misery.

So i waited. I heard a knock on my door and before i could reply my brother just entered. 

"9ba7 el5air" he said with a warm smile in his face.

He was still in his pjay's, i smiled back and got up.

"Shlounch?" He asked still smiling.

I just nodded.

"Listen, i know that you cried yourself to sleep yesterday, my room is right next to you, and i know how much he means to you , because he saved you from hell when you were in primary. don't ask how do i know this. I just do. Whatever he was to you, I will always be the same. I may have never done all the things he did because i was unconscious to all that, and it kills me to think of it. I love you you're my little sister and if i knew then what i know now i wouldn't let it happen in the first place. I just want you to be strong and be the shaikha that 3ziz knows"

I don't even know how to reply. My brother can be an arse sometimes but this... This made me realise how much i'm lucky to have him.

Without any words i just hugged him.

I didn't cry this time. At first he was himself shocked but responded with hugging me back. He tried to comfort me. I always felt safe around my brother but after this. I felt safer.

He's right. Now that 3ziz is gone. I should keep him alive by staying strong and being who i am now. 

I shouldn't break. Not now. Not ever.

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

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10

I looked at him.

"I can explain" He started while smiling. 

"How long?" I asked.

"2 years it was a mistake, remember my problem with my father?" He explained.

"Yeah.." i said waiting for him to proceed.

"Wellr7tatshaka3nd3thman"

He said it real quick. He knows how i feel about othman and how much i despise him.

Okay so the problem was about him driving the car without having license. So normally a father will get mad so he did and because d3ay is a rebel went to Othman (the worst human being you'll ever meet) 

he isn't mean or anything but he has a horrible personality when it comes to relationships and family and gives the worst advices. To prove it, d3ay is here in this hospital because of him. 

I shrugged, "Seriously d3ay what the heck"

"Don't get mad at me it actually helped me at that time then i just got addicted" he said trying to sound reasonable.

"Don't you think one second that i'll forgive you for this, and this smoking issue you have, you better quit or forgot marrying me" right after i said that i realised what i said.

He had faced down but as i said those words he said, "Wait what" with the hugest grin ever.

Dammit.

"Yeah you heard me." I said trying to cover for what i previously said.

"La la 3eedy" he begged while grinning.

"No d3ay bs drop it" i ordered. 

Thats when his mum entered.

God bless her. 

I just sat and chatted with his mum about school and new friends basically my life here in Bahrain. 

Then my mum and his sister came in with food. They took long what the heck did they buy. 

"Ha shw jbtw?" Said his mother.

"Yebna donut w sandwiches" said my mum. 

"Chnkm 6waltw" asked his mum.

"Ee wayd nas" said my mother.

I looked at the box waited for her to give me something because i was really hungry.

I went ahead and took chocolate coated donut with custard inside. 

(Fun fact it's my favourite donut)

D3ay just stared at us because we basically ignore him and served him nothing. 

"Enzain b59o9" he said trying to sound serious but failed because we all laughed. 

That's when the nurse entered for his daily check up. We asked her if it was okay to eat now. She said yes but suggested he waits till they bring in his lunch tray she thinks it is better for him than cafeteria food.

He disagreed, but we didn't listen to him and continued eating our food and loudly saying how tasty the food is.

He opened the tv and kept it on high volume much like a one in one thing.

"D3ay mama g9ra" his mother talked to him as if he was 6.

"No." Was his reply as he tucked the remote inside his blanket so none of us would go for it. 

We were all laughing and complaining then i said "enzain 3al a8l e7trm elmr9'a ely m3ak ent fe 8sm amra9' elglb latnsa" i pulled a serious face so he'd fall for it. I sadly failed at the serious part but it somehow worked.

He just smiled locked his eyes with mine and lowered the volume while still staring at me. I panicked because it felt awkward to have this moment in front of my mum and his.

We talked about everything in the past few weeks and my mum indicated that we should leave it was around 3 but she said she has been invited to one of her friends for dinner. Again very typical.  

We left and i didn't really want to leave having d3ay around me makes me happy and i think i may be falling for his charms after all and i'm no longer going to deny it whether it was real or just teenage love.

 It just made me feel like i'm riding a unicorn over a rainbow having chocolate fudge and i was going to embrace this feeling until my last breath. 

We reached home and i texted shaikha to start talking, nothing can ruin this day i'm sure this news won't be that bad.

Shaikha: "okay first of all u won't believe it because i didn't it happened yesterday around 5pm but i knew about it at 8 i didn't tell u because of what happened to d3ay"

She stopped a while basically was 3 minutes since this msg so i replied and said.

Me: "aanndd??"

Shaikha: "3ziz had an accident and i think it was with d3ay and he didn't make it"

What.

I needed a moment this wasn't expected. 3ziz out of all the people?

I was in deep shock for some reason my heart dropped when she told me this. 

I didn't like him but i don't think the group will be the same without him. 

This made me think why hasn't this subject been spoken about in the group. They usually burst my phone with msgs mostly 3ziz being funny and well a jerk. 

Things will change from now onwards i know it.

 

Me: "omg you're kidding right?"

Shaikha: "no i cried alot yesterday"

Thinking about it i was tearing up silently too, no matter how much he annoyed me i still can't imagine school without him and his remarks.. 

Me: "i am myself right now"

Shaikha: "school will be different"

Me: " yeah i can't imagine the group without having 3ziz in it he basically keeps us alive"

Shaikha: "he's my cousin."

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

http://ask.fm/LaBlogue

9

After what happened yesterday i couldn't sleep well, i'd wake up in between sleep.

I'm glad it's friday i can go and see him again, but the fact he smokes and isn't telling me or anyone wait no his mother and family probably knows, but why didn't he tell me.

It is long enough for his heart and lungs to be this bad.. 

When he becomes better I'm killing him..

i couldnt stop thinking about whether i acctually love him or it's teenage love, i'm not sure.

Besides i'm too young to get married.

I'm like almost 17 this is crazy.

I shrugged at the thought of getting married. I'm not against it in any way, but i'm against the getting married at a young age. I think we have lots of potentials to be in a commitment consisting of children and a husband.

It's 8 am, so i just got up and prayed.

I went downstairs to have something to eat, i ate alone. mum and dad weren't here. I sarcastically mentally laughed because that's so typical of them. 

I'm thankful of all that we have the money, the house and this life, but what's the point of all that if we can't for once actually be a normal family with normal breakfast and normal family time. 

My phone vibrated on the dining table, indicating i have a msg. 

It was duaij's sister

'COME QUICK'

I froze, i had the spoon in my mouth and i just froze. I swallowed my food and called her.

It kept ringing but no answer, i started panicking. 

I called 3 times i left it till it told me that there isn't any answer. 

I mentally started yelling shit. 

I can't just go right now.

And i can't just go we aren't living the american life style of hey let me just go mum won't mind. Yes maybe i'm allowed to go out with d3ay or talk to him but that's strictly friendship and well a mother approval.

I tried calming my self down,

But just started getting anxiety inside. It hurts more like my heart is being squeezed and like my energy is being drained, it hurts. So bad.

I texted her 'i can't what's going on you're freaking me out here.'

Several minutes passed it feels like ages until she actually called.

I kept quiet i just wanted her to get straight to business.

"Hello?" She quietly said.

"Shsalfa fa6ma 5r3teni?" I calmly asked. 

"D3ay gam" she said quietly.

I'm going to just predict she's in the balcony trying not to sound like she's talking to me.

Lots of mixed emotions right now crying, happiness and anxiety, this is like war inside of me. 

"El7mdellaaaa how, what happened exactly" i replied with a happy tone.

"Enty t3ali awal" she sarcastically said.

"My mum isn't here i can't just go"

I said.

"Uff enzain listen, we came at 8 am 5brch i dissed university on thursday for this idiot, and came here 3ala awal 6yara" 

I was basically giggling because she's one funny creature. It was weird because that's when i officially woke up.

"Shfech my9'7k, elmhm yena ohwa kan naym w 3l 8:30 he moved!" 

I had that huge smile of excitement on my face. 

"And a few moments later he just started murmuring stuffs" 

"What did he say?" I asked. 

"Madri it sounded like moaning and then he just said yo3an" 

What the actual.. That's where i just lost it and started laughing hysterically. I really don't know what i expected.

"Oh my god he didn't" and i just kept laughing.

"I know what the heck like you're in a life or death situation all you thought about was your bell-"

She went silent.

"What wrong?" I asked while giggling.

"I have to go mum wants me please do come quick ha" she said giggling.

"Enshallah Offcourse i'll come" 

I said.

"Okay bye bye" she said playfully.

"Bye bye 7beebty" and we hung up.

That's a mood changer. 

I quickly went ahead and texted shaikha about what happened yesterday, i almost forgot about her.

 Shaikha: "omg all this happened yesterday and i have no idea?"

Me: "yeah it was a dramatic day"

Shaikha: "so are you going today?"

Me: "i'm killing so yeah offcourse i am" 

Shaikha: "haha okay just remember to keep it clean we don't want to see you on sunday with blood on your hair" 

Me: "no it's okay i'm a professional murderer don't worry."

Shaikha: "okay once your back tell me i have something important to tell u it's not good news"

Me: "what is it tell me now"

Shaikha: "no no later love better i don't want to ruin a perfect start of a day right now"

She's starting to grow into me, it feels like i know her for really long Now and we only just met a few days ago. However, this so called bad news is making me curious. What could possibly go wrong now?

My mum came at 12, about time.

I went and greeted her, she was on her phone so she ignored me and went upstairs.

I couldn't contain myself so i followed her and waited until she was done. 

"Mama fatma called galat d3ay gam."

"Haih adri et9lt omha feni galat ttryana" she said.

"Oh so abdl?" I asked.

"Haih haih bsr3a" she said as she fixed her makeup. 

I rushed to my room and got ready i just rushed everything, didn't really care if i looked pleasing and to top it all of i was wearing my pjay's under my abaya i just brushed my hair and made my makeup simple. 

And i left my mum was waiting downstairs and when she saw me she just got up and left. 

I was like a child going to disney land, i'm so excited to see him i have no idea why am feeling like this, i know it's love but i can't help but deny it. 

On our way i had this weird thought so i asked my mother. 

"Mum laish tbeni atzwj d3ay?" 

"Laish la2?" She answered

"Let me rephrase that, why are u pushing me to do so?" She kept quiet. 

"I mean me and him aren't even engaged and you wanted me to go and have dinner with him don't you think it's a bit wrong?" I asked.

"But u agreed? So i'm not alone in this." She smiled. 

"True but only because you insisted. So why?" I asked again.

"You're old enough to know this, he happens to be the only heir to their business well not the only but the most eligible one and you know his father is a big petrol CEO back in Dubai, so when u marry him your father will gain in his company by joining with d3ay's father company. " She explained.

"Wait hold on so are you telling me i'm your free ticket to extra cash?"

I know that sounds harsh, but i had the right. 

"7asbi 3ala elsanch hessa."

She didn't even take one glance at me.

"I'm sorry but mum i don't want to be a daughter with benefits."

"Save that for later we're here."

She said as the driver stopped infront of the hospital gates.

"No." I said sitting and locking my eyes straight without looking at her. 

I felt disgusted and used. 

"Hessa nzli" she ordered.

I kept quiet.

She sighed and said,

"Hessa he loves you and is expecting you right now, do that for him not me. You have the right to hate me now but don't hate him he has no business in this." 

I looked at her and left the car. 

She's right, it may have sounded like i'm being used but after all this i'm not forced to marry a man that i don't even know. Let's be rational here, i know d3ay ever since i've been in kindergarden he's like my childhood buddy, but i'm not completely agreeing yet, i don't want to be selfish as well, my dad's company is falling down and this is important for him. 

We reached his room and entered.

There he was. Laying there. Staring at me. My heart is beating really fast it feels like it will jump out. I smiled. 

"Ahlaaan chan ma yetaw" said fatima trying to sound bahraini. 

I laughed and just said "don't." 

saw d3ay smiling.

Oh my god, this is the first time i notice how beautiful it is.

We sat down and started chatting my mum was asking about hows d3ay and all. Then she got up and said "barou7 ayeb shy nakla"

I stood and said "ana barou7 3nch" 

D3ay suddenly said with a smile "no stay."

My heart sank, i just froze and sat back. I could hear fatima giggling and then she just went with my mum.

It feels so awkward sitting here.

Then his mum broke the tension "Shlounch hessa?" 

"Umm el7mdellah" i said smiling.

She replied with el7mdellah.

There was a knock on the door and the doc entered.

"Elsalam shlounk d3ay?" He asked.

"El7mdellah" he replied with his sleepy deep voice. 

That i suddenly find attractive.

 Ok hessa ok. I smiled at the thought that he's okay. 

"Hmm zain zain el7mdella" then he told him about his condition and that he should quit smoking.

That's where his face expressions dropped and he looked at me and nodded.

"W ybelk enshala chm youm lain nt2kd ena mafek shy w enshala 5air" 

He just kept nodding. 

Then the doctor asked his mother he wanted to talk ocher about something to do with d3ay's health issues and other hospital things.

So that leaves me and d3ay in one room. 

Time for murder.  

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

http://ask.fm/LaBlogue

8

I forced my self to stay focused as i went downstairs searching for my mother.

I repeatedly blinked so i could keep my focus.
I stopped half way through the stairs took deep breath tried to relax myself, it was working the faint feeling was slowly going, but my heart never stopped pounding.
I was scared, nervous, worried, curious everything.

I scanned the living room from the stairs, searching for my mother, i saw her sitting where i last saw her before lunch.

I'm glad i decided to wear ballerinas instead of heels, it helped me walk through this.

I walked to my mother breathing weirdly, but i didn't cry, i held them for a better moment i will hold them for the happy moment.
She gasped loudly "shfeech wayhch a9fr???" Pulling me next to her to where i last sat this afternoon.
Ironic how just few hours ago we sat the same place talked about the same guy only difference is the subject.
"Ninaa yebii mai" she ordered the maid who came rushing after out after hearing my mothers gasp.
I kept quiet as i tried adjusting my breathing and heart rate.
Breathing in and out slowly
I was given the water i gulped it all.
"Tklmi mama 5wfteni shfech?!"
She said slightly loud.
"D-d-d-d.." I tried to speak but my heart refused to adjust.
"Ee okay d3ay shfee?" She asked with fully wide eyes full of curiosity.
I felt like crying but i didn't i held it.
The lump hurt but i didn't want to cry.
"Swa 7adth fe 6reja ly w wado el3skri"
I said not able to hold any more of the pain in my throat i burst in tear after saying those words, i couldn't i just..
I sniffed and sobbed my mother hugged me tightly i hugged back not wanting to let go.
But she let go "bgom albs 3bayty 5lch ga3da" she got up and started giving orders as she went upstairs,
"Goli 7g elsayg ebrz elsayara w yebha 3nd elbab" she pointed to one of the maid.
"Wnty etha ya baba golela r7na hospital w 76ela 3'da" pointing at nina.
Nina was more like a butler to this house.
And she disappeared upstairs.
I took my phone out.
And like the sense of needing a sister without further knowledge i texted shaikha,

'Change in plan i am going to meet d3ay yes, but in the hospital'

I didn't know if i was suppose to tell d3ay's mother but it was the right thing to do but i'd rather let my mother do it.
I wouldn't be able to speak at the moment.

Without any moment to lose.
I could hear my mothers heels rushing down stairs.
"Yala 6l3i!" She ordered me.
I left home, to the car parked right in front if the door.
I entered sat and tried to calm myself.
I calmed a bit but still worried and nerves.

I took my phone out to check the time and it was 5:46 pm by now.
I also saw shaikha's text on the screen.
'What are you saying? Is everything ok'
I thought to myself, ok?
Under all this i shall never be.

I texted her, making her sure i'll tell her everything tomorrow.
My mum called his mother about the accident, i could hear her scream from the phone, my mum calmed her down and his mother said she was coming now from uae, and before she could disagree his mother hung up.


We reached el6war2 and asked for him.
They told us he was moved to a room.
We took the ward number and hurried to it.
When we went to the new hospital,
Up to the ward.
It was a heart related ward.
We went to the reception table, asked the lady about him.
"3'rfa 26 eldctor byd5l b3d shwy tf9'lw w bn5br eldctor enkm w9ltw"
She gave us a formal smile.
And we hurried to his room.
I entered and found him laying on the hospital bed, it's a site i don't like seeing anyone in unless it's an expecting mother.

The room was cold and quiet only the heart beats from the machine attached with million wires all over him.
With every heart beat i heard i prayed he'd be alright.
My eyes were watery, it blurred my sight.
My mum stared at me as she called his mother telling her exactly of his place.

Soon the door was knocked.
We both knew it was the doctor.

He entered with two other men.

They seemed doctors too, but he seemed like the head doctor.

He wasn't tall nor short he was a bit chubby and was a bit dark, he wore glasses that had no thick frame on.

The other two were totally the opposite one was tall, huge and dark skinned the other was tall, thin and white.

The chubby doctor was obviously indian.

I proved that when he spoke. His indian english was not hard to make out.

"Hello im his doctor i am Dr.majid"

We both had our eyes widened and just 

stared at him and just nodded in greetence.

"Okay we have checked on him and when he first got here his heart beat wasn't stable but it is now alhamdulila"

I took a glimpse at him and back at the doctor. 

"However we are worried about the heart unstability and we have a feeling it is not from the accident" 

he paused looked down at the reports in his hand and then looked at him and back at us. 

"Does he smoke?" He said full of wonder in his face.

I raised an eyebrow and shoke my head which indicated 'no'.

A big loud no acctually. I know duaij and im pretty sure he doesn't.

The doctor just hmm'ed and chuckled.

What was that for...

"I fear he does and his heart is very weak from it very less oxygen comes in.. His lungs are not functioning right"

I looked at him in shock.

Wait wait wait.. What?!

Duaij?!

A smoker!

NO WAY!

I couldn't help but deny it.

"im sorry but check again cause last time i checked is that he's a non-smoker."

 i tried not to shout cause it wasn't worth it so i said it in my calmest voice but with a tone.

"Well im sorry miss but we did check twice to make sure and yes, he's a smoker and his heart and lungs are very weak but we will see what can be done."

He looked down at his reports and said

"We aren't called doctors for nothing."

He lefted his head looked at me and smiled.

"Well i have to go now and i will be back later hopefuly with better news" he gave us his back and left.

Seriously this doctor is getting on my nerves..

We stayed there for hours his mother and sister arrived shortly after the doctor left.

His sister is 4 years older than me which makes her 21 years old.

She's very petite(tiny figured in french).

Obviously short and wore abaya and a veil,deep brown eyes, but fairly white skin.

She looked horrified seeing her brother like this.

I won't blame her really if i had a brother and he was him i'd freak.

It was almost 10 it was starting to get really late. My mum and his were chatting to kill time and i was sitting in the balcony  day dreaming outside. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I saw a figure that was reflected at the window and i knew it was his sister her name is fatima.

"May i join you?" She said in her sweet voice.

I smiled and nodded, but i continued day dreaming. 

Acctually, i was thinking why this happened. I strongly believe in 'everything happens for a reason'

Did this happen because god wanted me to realise my love or did this happen because we are not meant to meet or even be for each other..

My head started aching me.

I winced out of pain. 

This what happens when i think of lots of things at one time.

I think im having migrane.

What's a migrane? 

'Huh.. It's a curse i held ever since grade 9 thats because i multi-task alot', i chuckled to myself and to the fact im talking to myself.

Negative thoughts made it's way through my mind.

'What if he doesn't make it'

'What if i'll never see him again'

'What if he has cancer or some other issues what am i going to do'

"Hessa?" She sounded worried.

I turned to her still deep in thoughts.

"Y-your crying?" 

What?

No?

I'm n... I touched my face and yes i was.

I quickly looked away avoiding her eyes.

I was crying without feeling it?

What? Is that normal?

Haha normal i said.. Nothing ever 'normal' happens to me. Nothing goes right. For some reason it feels as if the world is against me and i have no one besides me and only me. Well before it was i and duaij against the world but now.. I just.. 

I sighed out of the thought.

"Hessa listen my brother is strong enough he can make it through anything" 

I now felt the lump in my throat and tears blurred my sight.

She came closer and hugged me.

Greaaat...

I silently cried not letting the mothers notice.

"Don't worry have faith in god seriously out of everyone you? Losing it?" She sarcastically said with a smile.

I chuckled to that she never fails to find the perfect words.

Gosh i don't know what will i do without her.

I smiled back and wiped my tears.

Well it stopped flowing thats good.

I felt a bit better.

We sat and talked about our lifes.

She told me about her adventures in university and how dorms are.

We talked about everything to get me from thinking of him.

"Hessa mama yala bnmshi" said my mum.

I looked over at the time and it's already 11 whoaw...

I left the balcony and and there was him infront of me lying on bed.

My heart started beating again. 

No i didn't want to go.

A frown was up on my face.

"Lat7aten e7na m3a" said his mother.

Well yes i know but this isn't making me feel any better.

We said our goodbyes and just before we left.

Duaij winced.

I stopped moving and quickly turned around and we all just stared at him.

He let out another wincing voice.

We all rushed to his bed.

"Mama d3ay?" His mum kept on repeating.

I was standing on his left right in the middle of my mum and his sister.

He winced again.

"Maybe fe shy e3wra?" His sister said.

I looked at her as in 'really fatima' and said, "noooo?" In the most sarcastic kind of way ever.

One thing about me is that if sarcasm is there i just can't not place a comment.

He started moving a little, and i could swear i saw him look at me, his heart beats started increasing we could hear it from the machine. 

We all started freaking out my mother clicked the nurse button repeatedly.

Until finally the nurses arrived and saved the day.

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

http://ask.fm/LaBlogue

7

I entered my room did my daily doings but this time quicker.

I wore a pink baggy t-shirt and light grey track suit wore any flip flop in front of me and quickly headed downstairs.

I went towards where my mum was sitting.

Her eyes were fixed to the ground.

When i approached her, she eye contacted me and gave me a proud smile.

She took away the pillow next to her so i could sit right next to her.

"T3ali ymi" she ordered, it wasn't an order but it felt like one.

I sat next to her, and took a silent deep breath, inhaling the freshly made bo5or that spreaded around the house quickly and her 3oud essence.

i don't know why but i had butterflies in me, i know somehow she'll bring up d3ay.

There was a silent moment as we both looked into one another.

"Shlounch mama?"

She said with a sound of caring in her something i longed to hear from her as she was always either at work or at one of her friends house, so it sent me raising an eye brow without feeling it, but i was able to say, "el7mdela couldn't ask for a better life" and tried not to sound weird in any way.

She smiled at me again, now my butterflies grew i could feel it going up to my heart and it was painful enough that made me feel nauseous from it.

This stayed for long she kept staring at my eyes as i did to her i smiled as she smiled her light brown eyes sparkled.

She broke the silence with a sigh and said,

"7beebty enty a7een kbrty w 9rty mra w hal sna btt5rjain w b3dain btdrsen fljam3a w e7tmal tn56bain..." And she paused.

As she talked i was looking down shyly when she said 'e7tmal tn56bain' i lifted my head with a poker face and widened my eyes at her, thought spreaded in my head 'why did she mention this' the word echoed in my head my heart started pounding the butterflies came back.

"Yes e7tmal, ams lama r7ty bra m3a d3ay ana w oma tklmna flmw9'o3 w ana mt2kda entw tklmtw 3na, w ana emwaf8a w oboch emwaf8, bs bga mwaf8tch w..."

I cutted her with complete shock, as in yes i know but not the whole proposing thing

"yma sam7eni g63tch bs ybeli afakr w d3ay gali elyoum ena 3azmni 3gb el3'da mshwar w adri shbegol lakni madri aby adrs w asht3'l b3dain e9er 5air"

I am not sure yet whether i like him or not.

He has been my best friend for 12 years,

And by only thinking that he'll marry me one day, raise kids with me and that we'll grow old together is just weird.

I tried to lie to myself mentally.

I didnt want to feel something that not true.

One of our maids entered "madam"

We both turned to face her.

She's short,tiny ,dark skinned and her face was full of wrinkles, u can easily know how old she is from the amount of wrinkles covering her face i think she was around 60 something bs mashala feha 3afya.

"Lunch" she said smiling.

"Okay okay bnyy" my mum said.

I smiled back.

My mum always was formal with them to show them who's the boss of who.

I didnt like that, i feel that we're all humans and that no one deserves to be treated different just because they work for us.

"Fkri feha" she smiled as she patted my back.

We got up and entered the dining room my dad was at work he comes by 4 pm but rarely earlier depending on the situation at work.

The dining room is fancy wallpaper and lots of modern decoration, the food on the table looked tasty and smelled tasty, but after the talk with my mum, my mood kinda changed i still have butterflies they grow stronger every time i think of d3ay, is it love or am i afraid of the coming future.

I looked at the machboos plate in front of me, a typical bahraini dish, and the salad plate on the corner left next to me which was in between me and my mum.

I took a shove of the rice and placed the chicken breast piece on to my plate, added salad on the corner edge of my plate.

I took few bites but played with my food in between, i could feel my mum would took glimpses of me from the corner of her eyes, as she ate her food.

I didn't feel like eating thought of what might happen just kept appearing in my head, the butterflies wont stop, i felt nauseous and for the first time not willing to eat any of this, but i forced my self to.

I just couldn't handle any of this feelings, i took a sip of the water that was already poured onto my glass before we arrived "el7mdela" and i got up.

My mum took a quick look at me and proceeded with her meal.

I went upstair straight to my room.

I threw myself on my bed and laid on my back facing the ceiling.

I kept thinking and thinking and thinking.

Do i love him.

is he right for me.

am i even doing the right thing.

Is this even worth thinking.

I want to scream so loud and get all this out of my head.

Then i thought I'm just making a big deal out of it, cause really it isn't hard to know if u love someone or not, right?

Right?!

My phone vibrated.

I forgot to change it.

I looked at the time it was 3 already.

I got a message from shaikha telling me 'I'm making a group for us if thats okay.'

I smiled and replied 'yes it's fine'

Without any moment to lose the group was made.

Shaikha: hi :D

Sara: hello :$

3ziz: hala obooi

9gr: thats quick

Waited for m7md but nothing.

Shaikha: hessa ,m7md hello?

I smiled again and replied at her.

Me: halla halla

3ziz: la shaklha ra9'3a

I made a disgusted look, shyby thee.

Me: esm7li i dont do that..

3ziz: enzain emsama7a :|

Yeah u know who's boss.

I didn't reply at them

I kept quiet went back to staring at the ceiling like it's the most interesting thing at the moment.

My head started pounding i closed my eyes to try and stop the feeling, which immediately sent me to an afternoon snooze..

I opened my eyes, i was still in the same position as before but my head tilted a little to the left.

I squinted as the light disturbed my eyes.

I clicked the button on the iphone i saw i had 2 missed calls from duaij and it was 5 already..

I quickly forced my self to sit on my bed and unlocked my phone and just before i called, he called.. Wow was that a coincident..

I waited few seconds just not to show that i was around my phone, and also to show that I'm not all over him in anyway.

I picked it up.

"Alo?!" He sounded worried.

"Hmm halla" i replied in my sleepy voice.

"Oh rgdty 3bali 9ar shy" he said full of relief.

I chuckled "la la el7mdela eb97a w 3afya"

"El7mdela ayy wala?" He asked

"Haih t3al bgom ajhz" i confirmed.

"Okay okay yala yai m3a elsalama" he said full of excitement he thought i don't know but i hear it in his voice.

I chuckled again "allah ysalmk"

And we hung up.

I got up to wash my face and prayed.

I quickly got ready but decided to wear dafa instead as i didn't want to call attention of any kind, last thing i want is attention while I'm with him.

Oh god that felt weird.

This whole thing is weird,

the fact that my parents approve of this is weird.

The fact i'm approving is weird.

What is happening to the world!

I finished getting ready i pressed on the perfume handle and pressed three times

On my shoulder and the middle of my neck.

I tried to look good, i always love to look good, it's a habit in me.

By now it's probably 5:30

Yeah i take long..

Just as i was holding my door's handle to open it, d3ay called.

I picked it up before saying hi, he quickly responded,

"Alo elsalam 3lekm?"

It wasn't him nor was it a familiar voice.

It sounded old and deeper.

"N3m?" I asked curiously.

The that anonymous man said something that made an echo in my head.

"Hthy 56ebta?" He asked certain of what he's saying.

"Laish?" I suddenly got worried.

This is something d3ay never does,

Let someone have his phone unless it's urgent.

My heart sunk a moment thinking the possibilities of the urgent matter.

My heart started pounding.

I could hear a crowd in the background.

Right after i asked the man anonymous man said,

"97b eltelefon swa 7adth w et9lt fe oma bs matrd w jrbt m3a e5tabbs mardt fa kona mt9l fech mn n9 sa3a gelt bthela w 7ab et5bren ahla ena bewdona el3skri agrb mstashfa allah ysa3da 56ah elshr"

I knew something bad will happen i had a feeling in me all day.

"3f-3fwan swa 7adth?" I said not able to speak properly, i felt like something more like a lump in my throat, just thinking about him making an accident made me want to cry even more.

Bad thoughts invaded my mind..

All kind of them mostly that he might die i prayed in my heart that he was alright.

The man said that i wasn't suppose to worry and that he was fine, the question here is how fine..

We hung up and i was in total shock from this.

I left my room, as i walked to the stairs, the world around me was slowly darkening the world felt uneven my head was pounding as i heard my heart beats in my ears, i started breathing weirdly.

I placed my hand on the walls to support me, i didn't want to collapse, he needed me the most now if i fainted i might not be present when he wakes up i want to see his peaceful face before he opens his eyes i wanted to be the first he sees.

I admit it now.

Im in love with him.

@TheBlxg_

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6

[Before you start reading i would like to inform you guys that chapter 7 and 8 are a bit messed up i don't know why 8 came before 7..]

i followed Abdulrahman to his car.
went and sat on the front seat.
there was silence the whole way
i just looked out the window.
and thought of duaij..
did i just..
ugh i don't know what to do..

"hey wain 6rty gomai nzli w9lna" he demanded.
wow it sounded like byftk mni..
"thank you for not telling on me" i said with a smile
"el3fw" he was looking straight didnt take one glimpse of me but i saw his smile.
and i closed the car door.

i entered the school gates and quickly hurried to the homeroom searching for shaikha
i saw a short girl with medium length hair she was stick thin and wore tights.
i approached her and asked "chftw shaikha?"

she looked at me in a 'shfeha thei look' i wanted to punch her but i held my anger.
if there is anything more i hate then girls like her that look down at people.

she raised an eyebrow and giggled ' mw enty shaikha?'
her voice was so tiny just like her body figure.
i remembered that im still in her style and identity.

i shrugged and said "la ana shbeht'ha mayat?"

she hh'ed and said "la ll7en"

i gave her a disgusted look ely shfech a7en.
"okay mshkoura" and before i leave i said under my voice "lay6ee7 7nchch bs"
not sure if she heard but i hope she does..

i proceeded my path to the homeroom few more hallways..
dammit i have never in my life been so nerves like this.

on my way i felt a vibration in my bag.
i rushed to the nearest bathroom to see who texted me.

'ana elyoum bamrch bnrou7 mshwar, is it ok?' - Duaij

i typed ' i'll see mum first'

the bell rang i again rushed out of the bathroom to the homeroom
and i bumped into someone.
i thought to myself gosh how many times this term
i let my head down so i wont see what i bumped
and so i could carry on to my class peacefully

"careful not to bump into anyone again"
i lifted my head and there m7md was.
i shyly smiled gosh this was embarresing..

"shfeech chee bsr3a bsr3a 3ady ela homeroom" he sarcastically said with a side smile,

"adri adri bs aby shaikha fe mw9'ou3 w emesa3a adwrha"
i tried to sound the 'im in a hurry so bsr3a 5l9 klamk'
Harsh.. i know but i wanted to go.

"laish shsalfa" he sounded worried
i kept quiet 'ena malk d5l'
"enzain emshy bdwrha m3ach" he smiled again

we walked to class again still few hallways to reach there
we were in an awkward silence the suddenly "ha msht el56a?" he asked.
i chuckled and said "He found out bs magal shy bs estanst he's an amazing guy yab5t shaikha feh wala"
' ee 6yb ohw"... again silence filled our way then he broke it.. again..

"what makes you so happy like this?"
i confusingly looked at him and raised an eyebrow " what makes you think so?"
"i understand body language i know how your feeling and your feeling excited and happy"
he looked straight as we spoke with nothing but a smile on his face.

is he a psychic or something?
at that moment i knew that this is really how i feel..
could i possibly have fallen in love for duaij in anyway
i mean 12 years of friendship in that school i knew him ever since kindergarden.
we played together, studied together, did everything friends do together..
but love.. this is just new to me..

"ha wayn sr7ty 9aj wala?"
i shyly smiled and nodded in agreement.
he chuckled and said "3shan et3rfen sa7r ana"
i smiled the whole way and we kept silent.

we finaallyy reached homeroom.
i looked inside a quick look to see if she was there.
and Yes! she was i hurried to the seat in front of her.
"you!" i hissed at her.
"Well hello to you too..." she awkwardly smiled.
"well tell me" i ordered.
she took a glimpse at m7md that was behind me.
"well my job here is done.." he looked to his friends and said "halla shabab!"
i turned to her and she started "well...." and she told me every single details.

"he...he did that?" i was shocked i didn't know what to say.
"yes and i know mali sh3'l but he loves u w i could see it in his eyes and he's amazing your an idiot if you rejected him 9ij maybe he's your best friend but that doesn't mean he can't be more that just a best friend'

she's right... i looked down at my shoes thinking of what i was just told..
my mind couldn't think right something in me says yes she's totally right something in me says that what if problems happen and i lose him because of that i don't want to lose him for any reason.

"i don't know.. i don't.. mdri.." i just said those words i don't know what to say...
"your serious hessa? matdren?" she said with a serious tone.
"ee mdri what you say is positive 100% right but still something in me is disagreeing"
"you to know.. elryal myt feech mdri shwaity fee bs myt fech i could see it in his eyes"

my face started heating up my whole body was heating i could feel that i turned like a living tomato.
"well today he'll be picking me up w bewdeni mshwar i'll think mn a7een lai that time" i mentioned.
"alright then it's your choice after all"
Today felt like the longest day ever
Went well and great.
And i have been thinking and i reached to a conclusion...
They day ended and my phone started vibrating long enough for me to know who is calling.
I picked it up.
"Alo?!" He said mstan.
"Hmm?" I calmly said maknt aby a7ss elgang about anything..
"Wainch?!" He was like mhtd
"Beeh shsalfa ana bil mdrsa twi b6l3" i said quietly.
I lifted my eyes and realized eyes were on me..
"Enzain ltnsain tklmen omch 3n elmshwar" he said i could feel a smirk on his face.
"Haih haih bgoulha 5la9 now i got to go"
I tried ending it quickly.
"Laish bsr3a bsr3a shd3wa?" He said sarcastically.
" i have friends u know I'm with them now"
I tried to wrap it up quickly.
"Haih 3yal bklmch b3dain" he said his byes and we hung up.

"Mn?" Sara said

"No one important" i replied trying to avoid questions.

"Seriously with that smile no one?" Sara said

"3ndch 7beeb w matben etgoulen lna ha" 3ziz interfered with a big devilish smirk.

"Laa mw 7beeby" i giggled.

"3yartch" said 3ziz and sara said together.

" la wala mw 7beeby" i sarcastically said.

"La la la 3yartch wayhch a7mr w tbtsmain mw 3lay" 3ziz proceeded
I looked around at them all looking so eggar to know 9gr and shaikha were laughing seriously thankyou...
And both 3ziz and sara were tempting me to say who was it.
And suddenly from all the pressure i said "56eby uff happy?"
Suddenly 3m elhdou2 wayhm ens7b
"Ee 56eeby egouli bnrou7 mshwar feha shy?"
Omg why why why !
M7mds eye were full of shock all of them were shaikha didnt expect this..

"Mn-mn9jch?" M7md said.
"Ee twna ams ya eklm ahli." I replied
"Awwwww y3ni kntw 7bayb?" Sara burst on me.
" laa kna best friends for 12 years he suprised me aswell" i smiled

All of them were happy for me, m7md looked quite odd but he seemed happy.

I said my good byes and left back to my home. My real home.

I reached home, smiling.
"T3ali enty mta r7ty elmdrsa chthe?"
My mum stopped me right before i headed upstairs.
"3'yart shkli flmdrsa ma7bait elstyle"
I quickly responded.
"Mmmm enzain ro7i bdli w t3ali 3ndy m3ach mw9'oo3" she said.

I smiled stood there for a moment went kissed her forehead and headed upstairs.

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

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5

I left my room.

Okaay... Sorry I meant Hessa's room... 

I headed downstairs..

And saw him

This tall fit tanned handsome creature so called d3aij

Standing infront of the entrance door

I smiled... Awkwardly...

I tried so hard not to show it

Nzlt w slmt 3ala his mum.

Now both mums are staring and smiling.

It felt weird and like my face would explode from the current situation.

"Tf9'lw 7yakm elbait baitkm" said hessa's mum.

D3aij couldnt stop looking at me and smiling, inside me wanted to leave cause I'm not used to it.

I started bushing I'm a shy person after all.

"Zad f9'lkm eshzenha 79ai9 5al9 jety elb7rain wnsetena" said his mother.

I chuckled the shy kind.

I saw d3aij and both mums eye contacting each other and smiling.

Then he turned to me and said "mara7 etwreni baitkm eljded?"

I turned to hessa's mum she nodded so I agreed to give him a quick tour... when I myself have no idea of the place.

We started from the entrance garden and walked until we reached an outside sitting place, it looked amazingly beautiful m3ana eldnya 9'lmt but the light acctually brought out the garden beautifully. 

"This is my favorite place"

Okay that somehow true but it is my new favorite place in this house.

The lighting here are amazing it was more like 5aft but u could see detailed faces and where ur walking exactly.

I turned around d3aij was closer to me, I freaked out and stepped a bit backwards.

He chuckled and said "3'm9'i 3younch"

He's freakin serious? 

"Laish?" I nervously said

"Geltlch 3'm9'i lt5afen" he said with serious caring tone.

"Okaaaay" I closed them and panicked but hessa told me he's a gentlemen so he won't do anything offensive.. I hope so..

"Ft7ehm", I opened my eyes finding a diamond ring kept in a dark colored small elegant box, and d3aij kneeling on one foot.

He's....it's.....it's....

"Ttzwjainy?" He finally forced the words out.

I was in shock... Omg this is so weird... I mean I'm not hessa...

What if she didnt want this...

Besides i didn't know arabians do that i'm more familiar with the traditional rather than this.

"Bs b3dny 93'eera" my quickest reply..

He got up excitedly, "y3ni emwaafgaa" he had a huge smile when I say huge smile I mean huugge his dimples are going deep inside.

"i'll let u know" I tried to avoid more questions.

"La aba al7en eljwab" he folded both his arms into cross.

I smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Uff enzain tnt9'rainy?" He looked so cute and unbearable. 

"How long?" I questioned

"4years w i'll do the traditional proposal bs akml jam3a w a79l sh3'l w3d mni ajeech"

There was silence filling the place we could hear the tree insect sounds and the wind sound as it moved the tree leave surrounding us.

Nzlt rasi not knowing what to say..

I dont really know how hessa will react right now..

I tried to think like her, but he approached me lifted my head up with fingers holding my chin so we'd eye contact.

My heart started pounded I couldnt breath I was nervous.

His smile was warm and happy like he finally found his perfect match.

"Shu hw srch?" He kept on holding my face up.

I tried not eye contact him, "ay sr?" This is awkward..

"Jmalch...sb7an mn swaach.. 7ta elgmr 3'ar mn jmal mlam7ch"

He smiled and ironically the moon was exactly above us.

I pulled away needing my comfort zone and to catch some breath.. Suddenly it became hotter I know now I'm blushing.. 

I should say something.. Stop smiling... "Tktb ash3ar?" I said stuttering, I stutter (at2t2) when I'm nervous.

"7by lch 5lani abd3 shtaben b3d" he had the proud face ely kna m3'roor bs with a smile.

I kept gthlty wra ethni and said "5lna nd5l t25rna be76oun el3'da..." No dammitt gmt a5r6 "g9di el3sha" I quickly fixed.

"Am i making you nervous?" He said while chuckling.

"Nooo ur not" I said trying to sound sarcastic.

And we went back inside.

-hessa-

It has been exactly 5 hours what is taking so long.

Suddenly my phone was attacked by messages.

I quickly took it and started reading and oh the shock.

Shaikha: "I think ur unoffically engaged to d3aij"

Did I see it well did it say en-gaged?

My eyes widened and I lifted an eye brow 

I tried reading it right I was confused.

Me: "shuuu?"

Shaikha: "he proposed to me which is u in the backyard garden"

Me: "l79'a l79'a w9'7eli shu en56bt? D3aij is my brother like he wouldn't marry me or think of it"

Shaikha: "well he did and now ur more like his future wife, omch w oma mwaf8en"

Me: "u accepted?? without my permisson? Ur serious?"

Shaikha: "ok calm down no I didnt I told him i'll think about it so you'll have time from now till 4 years later"

Me: "I want to go home.. Now!"

Shaikha: "hessa I didnt agree walla"

Me: "I dont care I need to see him"

Shaikha: "he'll call"

Me: "that's the problem I wasn't there when he proposed I didnt get the feelings to know how to reply chan zain we didnt switch"

shaikha: "I'm sorry but things happen for a reason i don't klshy ktbt allah we have nothing over it"

I rubbed my forehead trying to think straight, d3aij loves me?

Mw ga3d ydsh bali... He always been my best friend, big brother, father but never thought of him as a husband.

I took a quick look at the time.. Wow 9pm...

I should sleep so I would get back to my real home quicker..

Just before I closed my eyes my phone rang.

I knew it was D3aij 

I'm having butterflies in my tummy.

I answered, but kept quiet.

"Alo?" He broke the silence.

"Hmm" trying to sound as sleepy as possible

"Nmty?" He replied.

"Haih twi" I said

"Ee mdrsa bchr" he sarcastically said bring out a chuckle

I chuckled as well.

"yzain hal 9'7ka w yazain ra3ee" he said

I kept quiet my face started heating up it was more like I'm shy..

From d3aij this cant be happening.

"Hessa?" He questioned.

"N3m" i shyly said trying to get into the act 

"A7bch"

The word kept ringing in my ears echoing. 

My heart started beating fast. 

The place became hotter. 

Butterflies everywhere in me.

I have this weird feeling I never felt it my whole life.

It's like suddenly the world stopped for a second.

"Wainch?" He broke the silence

I suddenly went mute I didn't know what to say I was tongue tied.

In all the moment i've been through I never went through this. 

This 'Love' thing

"79ai9?" Sounding all serious

"Hmm" shyly again i was mostly just hmm and quietness

"Fech shy?" He asked 

"La la am fine" I assured him 

"Just fine?" He said

"Haih el7mdela mablai she" I replied smiling

"Zain byech bchr w byeb el5atm ely rwetch eya elyoum bekoun mthl our unoffical engagement ring" he said

"You know I'm still thinking about it right?" I raised an eyebrow even though I know he's not looking force of habit.

"Uff laish chthe" I could feel his face becoming :c 

I chuckled and said "okay bye until tomorrow."

We hung up. This conversation gave me panic attack but i brushed it off and slept.

The next morning came I woke up 5:30

"Uff mdrsa"

I threw myself deep into my bed

Sorry shaikha's bed. 

I just wanted to cuddle the blanket and stay warm in it

10 minutes struggling and grumbling until I finally left bed.

I did the morning regulars

Wore school uniform

Made a messy bun

Picked up shaikha's rayban glasses hipster kind

Applied a soft 3oud m36r scent perfume

Went downstairs

The house smelled b5our and morning coffee

Everyone was breakfasting 

I love the whole family morning thing

It was 6:15 by the time I went down

Sat with the family ate cornflakes and drank coffee 

Didnt really talk.

Saw 7mani whw nzl mn foug

9b7 3lehna took sips from his mug  

And said "Gomi yala" 

I quickly got up and followed him to his car to finally getting my life back. I didn't like it but this is what i was born under.

@TheBlxg_

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