8

I forced my self to stay focused as i went downstairs searching for my mother.

I repeatedly blinked so i could keep my focus.
I stopped half way through the stairs took deep breath tried to relax myself, it was working the faint feeling was slowly going, but my heart never stopped pounding.
I was scared, nervous, worried, curious everything.

I scanned the living room from the stairs, searching for my mother, i saw her sitting where i last saw her before lunch.

I'm glad i decided to wear ballerinas instead of heels, it helped me walk through this.

I walked to my mother breathing weirdly, but i didn't cry, i held them for a better moment i will hold them for the happy moment.
She gasped loudly "shfeech wayhch a9fr???" Pulling me next to her to where i last sat this afternoon.
Ironic how just few hours ago we sat the same place talked about the same guy only difference is the subject.
"Ninaa yebii mai" she ordered the maid who came rushing after out after hearing my mothers gasp.
I kept quiet as i tried adjusting my breathing and heart rate.
Breathing in and out slowly
I was given the water i gulped it all.
"Tklmi mama 5wfteni shfech?!"
She said slightly loud.
"D-d-d-d.." I tried to speak but my heart refused to adjust.
"Ee okay d3ay shfee?" She asked with fully wide eyes full of curiosity.
I felt like crying but i didn't i held it.
The lump hurt but i didn't want to cry.
"Swa 7adth fe 6reja ly w wado el3skri"
I said not able to hold any more of the pain in my throat i burst in tear after saying those words, i couldn't i just..
I sniffed and sobbed my mother hugged me tightly i hugged back not wanting to let go.
But she let go "bgom albs 3bayty 5lch ga3da" she got up and started giving orders as she went upstairs,
"Goli 7g elsayg ebrz elsayara w yebha 3nd elbab" she pointed to one of the maid.
"Wnty etha ya baba golela r7na hospital w 76ela 3'da" pointing at nina.
Nina was more like a butler to this house.
And she disappeared upstairs.
I took my phone out.
And like the sense of needing a sister without further knowledge i texted shaikha,

'Change in plan i am going to meet d3ay yes, but in the hospital'

I didn't know if i was suppose to tell d3ay's mother but it was the right thing to do but i'd rather let my mother do it.
I wouldn't be able to speak at the moment.

Without any moment to lose.
I could hear my mothers heels rushing down stairs.
"Yala 6l3i!" She ordered me.
I left home, to the car parked right in front if the door.
I entered sat and tried to calm myself.
I calmed a bit but still worried and nerves.

I took my phone out to check the time and it was 5:46 pm by now.
I also saw shaikha's text on the screen.
'What are you saying? Is everything ok'
I thought to myself, ok?
Under all this i shall never be.

I texted her, making her sure i'll tell her everything tomorrow.
My mum called his mother about the accident, i could hear her scream from the phone, my mum calmed her down and his mother said she was coming now from uae, and before she could disagree his mother hung up.


We reached el6war2 and asked for him.
They told us he was moved to a room.
We took the ward number and hurried to it.
When we went to the new hospital,
Up to the ward.
It was a heart related ward.
We went to the reception table, asked the lady about him.
"3'rfa 26 eldctor byd5l b3d shwy tf9'lw w bn5br eldctor enkm w9ltw"
She gave us a formal smile.
And we hurried to his room.
I entered and found him laying on the hospital bed, it's a site i don't like seeing anyone in unless it's an expecting mother.

The room was cold and quiet only the heart beats from the machine attached with million wires all over him.
With every heart beat i heard i prayed he'd be alright.
My eyes were watery, it blurred my sight.
My mum stared at me as she called his mother telling her exactly of his place.

Soon the door was knocked.
We both knew it was the doctor.

He entered with two other men.

They seemed doctors too, but he seemed like the head doctor.

He wasn't tall nor short he was a bit chubby and was a bit dark, he wore glasses that had no thick frame on.

The other two were totally the opposite one was tall, huge and dark skinned the other was tall, thin and white.

The chubby doctor was obviously indian.

I proved that when he spoke. His indian english was not hard to make out.

"Hello im his doctor i am Dr.majid"

We both had our eyes widened and just 

stared at him and just nodded in greetence.

"Okay we have checked on him and when he first got here his heart beat wasn't stable but it is now alhamdulila"

I took a glimpse at him and back at the doctor. 

"However we are worried about the heart unstability and we have a feeling it is not from the accident" 

he paused looked down at the reports in his hand and then looked at him and back at us. 

"Does he smoke?" He said full of wonder in his face.

I raised an eyebrow and shoke my head which indicated 'no'.

A big loud no acctually. I know duaij and im pretty sure he doesn't.

The doctor just hmm'ed and chuckled.

What was that for...

"I fear he does and his heart is very weak from it very less oxygen comes in.. His lungs are not functioning right"

I looked at him in shock.

Wait wait wait.. What?!

Duaij?!

A smoker!

NO WAY!

I couldn't help but deny it.

"im sorry but check again cause last time i checked is that he's a non-smoker."

 i tried not to shout cause it wasn't worth it so i said it in my calmest voice but with a tone.

"Well im sorry miss but we did check twice to make sure and yes, he's a smoker and his heart and lungs are very weak but we will see what can be done."

He looked down at his reports and said

"We aren't called doctors for nothing."

He lefted his head looked at me and smiled.

"Well i have to go now and i will be back later hopefuly with better news" he gave us his back and left.

Seriously this doctor is getting on my nerves..

We stayed there for hours his mother and sister arrived shortly after the doctor left.

His sister is 4 years older than me which makes her 21 years old.

She's very petite(tiny figured in french).

Obviously short and wore abaya and a veil,deep brown eyes, but fairly white skin.

She looked horrified seeing her brother like this.

I won't blame her really if i had a brother and he was him i'd freak.

It was almost 10 it was starting to get really late. My mum and his were chatting to kill time and i was sitting in the balcony  day dreaming outside. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I saw a figure that was reflected at the window and i knew it was his sister her name is fatima.

"May i join you?" She said in her sweet voice.

I smiled and nodded, but i continued day dreaming. 

Acctually, i was thinking why this happened. I strongly believe in 'everything happens for a reason'

Did this happen because god wanted me to realise my love or did this happen because we are not meant to meet or even be for each other..

My head started aching me.

I winced out of pain. 

This what happens when i think of lots of things at one time.

I think im having migrane.

What's a migrane? 

'Huh.. It's a curse i held ever since grade 9 thats because i multi-task alot', i chuckled to myself and to the fact im talking to myself.

Negative thoughts made it's way through my mind.

'What if he doesn't make it'

'What if i'll never see him again'

'What if he has cancer or some other issues what am i going to do'

"Hessa?" She sounded worried.

I turned to her still deep in thoughts.

"Y-your crying?" 

What?

No?

I'm n... I touched my face and yes i was.

I quickly looked away avoiding her eyes.

I was crying without feeling it?

What? Is that normal?

Haha normal i said.. Nothing ever 'normal' happens to me. Nothing goes right. For some reason it feels as if the world is against me and i have no one besides me and only me. Well before it was i and duaij against the world but now.. I just.. 

I sighed out of the thought.

"Hessa listen my brother is strong enough he can make it through anything" 

I now felt the lump in my throat and tears blurred my sight.

She came closer and hugged me.

Greaaat...

I silently cried not letting the mothers notice.

"Don't worry have faith in god seriously out of everyone you? Losing it?" She sarcastically said with a smile.

I chuckled to that she never fails to find the perfect words.

Gosh i don't know what will i do without her.

I smiled back and wiped my tears.

Well it stopped flowing thats good.

I felt a bit better.

We sat and talked about our lifes.

She told me about her adventures in university and how dorms are.

We talked about everything to get me from thinking of him.

"Hessa mama yala bnmshi" said my mum.

I looked over at the time and it's already 11 whoaw...

I left the balcony and and there was him infront of me lying on bed.

My heart started beating again. 

No i didn't want to go.

A frown was up on my face.

"Lat7aten e7na m3a" said his mother.

Well yes i know but this isn't making me feel any better.

We said our goodbyes and just before we left.

Duaij winced.

I stopped moving and quickly turned around and we all just stared at him.

He let out another wincing voice.

We all rushed to his bed.

"Mama d3ay?" His mum kept on repeating.

I was standing on his left right in the middle of my mum and his sister.

He winced again.

"Maybe fe shy e3wra?" His sister said.

I looked at her as in 'really fatima' and said, "noooo?" In the most sarcastic kind of way ever.

One thing about me is that if sarcasm is there i just can't not place a comment.

He started moving a little, and i could swear i saw him look at me, his heart beats started increasing we could hear it from the machine. 

We all started freaking out my mother clicked the nurse button repeatedly.

Until finally the nurses arrived and saved the day.

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

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7

I entered my room did my daily doings but this time quicker.

I wore a pink baggy t-shirt and light grey track suit wore any flip flop in front of me and quickly headed downstairs.

I went towards where my mum was sitting.

Her eyes were fixed to the ground.

When i approached her, she eye contacted me and gave me a proud smile.

She took away the pillow next to her so i could sit right next to her.

"T3ali ymi" she ordered, it wasn't an order but it felt like one.

I sat next to her, and took a silent deep breath, inhaling the freshly made bo5or that spreaded around the house quickly and her 3oud essence.

i don't know why but i had butterflies in me, i know somehow she'll bring up d3ay.

There was a silent moment as we both looked into one another.

"Shlounch mama?"

She said with a sound of caring in her something i longed to hear from her as she was always either at work or at one of her friends house, so it sent me raising an eye brow without feeling it, but i was able to say, "el7mdela couldn't ask for a better life" and tried not to sound weird in any way.

She smiled at me again, now my butterflies grew i could feel it going up to my heart and it was painful enough that made me feel nauseous from it.

This stayed for long she kept staring at my eyes as i did to her i smiled as she smiled her light brown eyes sparkled.

She broke the silence with a sigh and said,

"7beebty enty a7een kbrty w 9rty mra w hal sna btt5rjain w b3dain btdrsen fljam3a w e7tmal tn56bain..." And she paused.

As she talked i was looking down shyly when she said 'e7tmal tn56bain' i lifted my head with a poker face and widened my eyes at her, thought spreaded in my head 'why did she mention this' the word echoed in my head my heart started pounding the butterflies came back.

"Yes e7tmal, ams lama r7ty bra m3a d3ay ana w oma tklmna flmw9'o3 w ana mt2kda entw tklmtw 3na, w ana emwaf8a w oboch emwaf8, bs bga mwaf8tch w..."

I cutted her with complete shock, as in yes i know but not the whole proposing thing

"yma sam7eni g63tch bs ybeli afakr w d3ay gali elyoum ena 3azmni 3gb el3'da mshwar w adri shbegol lakni madri aby adrs w asht3'l b3dain e9er 5air"

I am not sure yet whether i like him or not.

He has been my best friend for 12 years,

And by only thinking that he'll marry me one day, raise kids with me and that we'll grow old together is just weird.

I tried to lie to myself mentally.

I didnt want to feel something that not true.

One of our maids entered "madam"

We both turned to face her.

She's short,tiny ,dark skinned and her face was full of wrinkles, u can easily know how old she is from the amount of wrinkles covering her face i think she was around 60 something bs mashala feha 3afya.

"Lunch" she said smiling.

"Okay okay bnyy" my mum said.

I smiled back.

My mum always was formal with them to show them who's the boss of who.

I didnt like that, i feel that we're all humans and that no one deserves to be treated different just because they work for us.

"Fkri feha" she smiled as she patted my back.

We got up and entered the dining room my dad was at work he comes by 4 pm but rarely earlier depending on the situation at work.

The dining room is fancy wallpaper and lots of modern decoration, the food on the table looked tasty and smelled tasty, but after the talk with my mum, my mood kinda changed i still have butterflies they grow stronger every time i think of d3ay, is it love or am i afraid of the coming future.

I looked at the machboos plate in front of me, a typical bahraini dish, and the salad plate on the corner left next to me which was in between me and my mum.

I took a shove of the rice and placed the chicken breast piece on to my plate, added salad on the corner edge of my plate.

I took few bites but played with my food in between, i could feel my mum would took glimpses of me from the corner of her eyes, as she ate her food.

I didn't feel like eating thought of what might happen just kept appearing in my head, the butterflies wont stop, i felt nauseous and for the first time not willing to eat any of this, but i forced my self to.

I just couldn't handle any of this feelings, i took a sip of the water that was already poured onto my glass before we arrived "el7mdela" and i got up.

My mum took a quick look at me and proceeded with her meal.

I went upstair straight to my room.

I threw myself on my bed and laid on my back facing the ceiling.

I kept thinking and thinking and thinking.

Do i love him.

is he right for me.

am i even doing the right thing.

Is this even worth thinking.

I want to scream so loud and get all this out of my head.

Then i thought I'm just making a big deal out of it, cause really it isn't hard to know if u love someone or not, right?

Right?!

My phone vibrated.

I forgot to change it.

I looked at the time it was 3 already.

I got a message from shaikha telling me 'I'm making a group for us if thats okay.'

I smiled and replied 'yes it's fine'

Without any moment to lose the group was made.

Shaikha: hi :D

Sara: hello :$

3ziz: hala obooi

9gr: thats quick

Waited for m7md but nothing.

Shaikha: hessa ,m7md hello?

I smiled again and replied at her.

Me: halla halla

3ziz: la shaklha ra9'3a

I made a disgusted look, shyby thee.

Me: esm7li i dont do that..

3ziz: enzain emsama7a :|

Yeah u know who's boss.

I didn't reply at them

I kept quiet went back to staring at the ceiling like it's the most interesting thing at the moment.

My head started pounding i closed my eyes to try and stop the feeling, which immediately sent me to an afternoon snooze..

I opened my eyes, i was still in the same position as before but my head tilted a little to the left.

I squinted as the light disturbed my eyes.

I clicked the button on the iphone i saw i had 2 missed calls from duaij and it was 5 already..

I quickly forced my self to sit on my bed and unlocked my phone and just before i called, he called.. Wow was that a coincident..

I waited few seconds just not to show that i was around my phone, and also to show that I'm not all over him in anyway.

I picked it up.

"Alo?!" He sounded worried.

"Hmm halla" i replied in my sleepy voice.

"Oh rgdty 3bali 9ar shy" he said full of relief.

I chuckled "la la el7mdela eb97a w 3afya"

"El7mdela ayy wala?" He asked

"Haih t3al bgom ajhz" i confirmed.

"Okay okay yala yai m3a elsalama" he said full of excitement he thought i don't know but i hear it in his voice.

I chuckled again "allah ysalmk"

And we hung up.

I got up to wash my face and prayed.

I quickly got ready but decided to wear dafa instead as i didn't want to call attention of any kind, last thing i want is attention while I'm with him.

Oh god that felt weird.

This whole thing is weird,

the fact that my parents approve of this is weird.

The fact i'm approving is weird.

What is happening to the world!

I finished getting ready i pressed on the perfume handle and pressed three times

On my shoulder and the middle of my neck.

I tried to look good, i always love to look good, it's a habit in me.

By now it's probably 5:30

Yeah i take long..

Just as i was holding my door's handle to open it, d3ay called.

I picked it up before saying hi, he quickly responded,

"Alo elsalam 3lekm?"

It wasn't him nor was it a familiar voice.

It sounded old and deeper.

"N3m?" I asked curiously.

The that anonymous man said something that made an echo in my head.

"Hthy 56ebta?" He asked certain of what he's saying.

"Laish?" I suddenly got worried.

This is something d3ay never does,

Let someone have his phone unless it's urgent.

My heart sunk a moment thinking the possibilities of the urgent matter.

My heart started pounding.

I could hear a crowd in the background.

Right after i asked the man anonymous man said,

"97b eltelefon swa 7adth w et9lt fe oma bs matrd w jrbt m3a e5tabbs mardt fa kona mt9l fech mn n9 sa3a gelt bthela w 7ab et5bren ahla ena bewdona el3skri agrb mstashfa allah ysa3da 56ah elshr"

I knew something bad will happen i had a feeling in me all day.

"3f-3fwan swa 7adth?" I said not able to speak properly, i felt like something more like a lump in my throat, just thinking about him making an accident made me want to cry even more.

Bad thoughts invaded my mind..

All kind of them mostly that he might die i prayed in my heart that he was alright.

The man said that i wasn't suppose to worry and that he was fine, the question here is how fine..

We hung up and i was in total shock from this.

I left my room, as i walked to the stairs, the world around me was slowly darkening the world felt uneven my head was pounding as i heard my heart beats in my ears, i started breathing weirdly.

I placed my hand on the walls to support me, i didn't want to collapse, he needed me the most now if i fainted i might not be present when he wakes up i want to see his peaceful face before he opens his eyes i wanted to be the first he sees.

I admit it now.

Im in love with him.

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

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6

[Before you start reading i would like to inform you guys that chapter 7 and 8 are a bit messed up i don't know why 8 came before 7..]

i followed Abdulrahman to his car.
went and sat on the front seat.
there was silence the whole way
i just looked out the window.
and thought of duaij..
did i just..
ugh i don't know what to do..

"hey wain 6rty gomai nzli w9lna" he demanded.
wow it sounded like byftk mni..
"thank you for not telling on me" i said with a smile
"el3fw" he was looking straight didnt take one glimpse of me but i saw his smile.
and i closed the car door.

i entered the school gates and quickly hurried to the homeroom searching for shaikha
i saw a short girl with medium length hair she was stick thin and wore tights.
i approached her and asked "chftw shaikha?"

she looked at me in a 'shfeha thei look' i wanted to punch her but i held my anger.
if there is anything more i hate then girls like her that look down at people.

she raised an eyebrow and giggled ' mw enty shaikha?'
her voice was so tiny just like her body figure.
i remembered that im still in her style and identity.

i shrugged and said "la ana shbeht'ha mayat?"

she hh'ed and said "la ll7en"

i gave her a disgusted look ely shfech a7en.
"okay mshkoura" and before i leave i said under my voice "lay6ee7 7nchch bs"
not sure if she heard but i hope she does..

i proceeded my path to the homeroom few more hallways..
dammit i have never in my life been so nerves like this.

on my way i felt a vibration in my bag.
i rushed to the nearest bathroom to see who texted me.

'ana elyoum bamrch bnrou7 mshwar, is it ok?' - Duaij

i typed ' i'll see mum first'

the bell rang i again rushed out of the bathroom to the homeroom
and i bumped into someone.
i thought to myself gosh how many times this term
i let my head down so i wont see what i bumped
and so i could carry on to my class peacefully

"careful not to bump into anyone again"
i lifted my head and there m7md was.
i shyly smiled gosh this was embarresing..

"shfeech chee bsr3a bsr3a 3ady ela homeroom" he sarcastically said with a side smile,

"adri adri bs aby shaikha fe mw9'ou3 w emesa3a adwrha"
i tried to sound the 'im in a hurry so bsr3a 5l9 klamk'
Harsh.. i know but i wanted to go.

"laish shsalfa" he sounded worried
i kept quiet 'ena malk d5l'
"enzain emshy bdwrha m3ach" he smiled again

we walked to class again still few hallways to reach there
we were in an awkward silence the suddenly "ha msht el56a?" he asked.
i chuckled and said "He found out bs magal shy bs estanst he's an amazing guy yab5t shaikha feh wala"
' ee 6yb ohw"... again silence filled our way then he broke it.. again..

"what makes you so happy like this?"
i confusingly looked at him and raised an eyebrow " what makes you think so?"
"i understand body language i know how your feeling and your feeling excited and happy"
he looked straight as we spoke with nothing but a smile on his face.

is he a psychic or something?
at that moment i knew that this is really how i feel..
could i possibly have fallen in love for duaij in anyway
i mean 12 years of friendship in that school i knew him ever since kindergarden.
we played together, studied together, did everything friends do together..
but love.. this is just new to me..

"ha wayn sr7ty 9aj wala?"
i shyly smiled and nodded in agreement.
he chuckled and said "3shan et3rfen sa7r ana"
i smiled the whole way and we kept silent.

we finaallyy reached homeroom.
i looked inside a quick look to see if she was there.
and Yes! she was i hurried to the seat in front of her.
"you!" i hissed at her.
"Well hello to you too..." she awkwardly smiled.
"well tell me" i ordered.
she took a glimpse at m7md that was behind me.
"well my job here is done.." he looked to his friends and said "halla shabab!"
i turned to her and she started "well...." and she told me every single details.

"he...he did that?" i was shocked i didn't know what to say.
"yes and i know mali sh3'l but he loves u w i could see it in his eyes and he's amazing your an idiot if you rejected him 9ij maybe he's your best friend but that doesn't mean he can't be more that just a best friend'

she's right... i looked down at my shoes thinking of what i was just told..
my mind couldn't think right something in me says yes she's totally right something in me says that what if problems happen and i lose him because of that i don't want to lose him for any reason.

"i don't know.. i don't.. mdri.." i just said those words i don't know what to say...
"your serious hessa? matdren?" she said with a serious tone.
"ee mdri what you say is positive 100% right but still something in me is disagreeing"
"you to know.. elryal myt feech mdri shwaity fee bs myt fech i could see it in his eyes"

my face started heating up my whole body was heating i could feel that i turned like a living tomato.
"well today he'll be picking me up w bewdeni mshwar i'll think mn a7een lai that time" i mentioned.
"alright then it's your choice after all"
Today felt like the longest day ever
Went well and great.
And i have been thinking and i reached to a conclusion...
They day ended and my phone started vibrating long enough for me to know who is calling.
I picked it up.
"Alo?!" He said mstan.
"Hmm?" I calmly said maknt aby a7ss elgang about anything..
"Wainch?!" He was like mhtd
"Beeh shsalfa ana bil mdrsa twi b6l3" i said quietly.
I lifted my eyes and realized eyes were on me..
"Enzain ltnsain tklmen omch 3n elmshwar" he said i could feel a smirk on his face.
"Haih haih bgoulha 5la9 now i got to go"
I tried ending it quickly.
"Laish bsr3a bsr3a shd3wa?" He said sarcastically.
" i have friends u know I'm with them now"
I tried to wrap it up quickly.
"Haih 3yal bklmch b3dain" he said his byes and we hung up.

"Mn?" Sara said

"No one important" i replied trying to avoid questions.

"Seriously with that smile no one?" Sara said

"3ndch 7beeb w matben etgoulen lna ha" 3ziz interfered with a big devilish smirk.

"Laa mw 7beeby" i giggled.

"3yartch" said 3ziz and sara said together.

" la wala mw 7beeby" i sarcastically said.

"La la la 3yartch wayhch a7mr w tbtsmain mw 3lay" 3ziz proceeded
I looked around at them all looking so eggar to know 9gr and shaikha were laughing seriously thankyou...
And both 3ziz and sara were tempting me to say who was it.
And suddenly from all the pressure i said "56eby uff happy?"
Suddenly 3m elhdou2 wayhm ens7b
"Ee 56eeby egouli bnrou7 mshwar feha shy?"
Omg why why why !
M7mds eye were full of shock all of them were shaikha didnt expect this..

"Mn-mn9jch?" M7md said.
"Ee twna ams ya eklm ahli." I replied
"Awwwww y3ni kntw 7bayb?" Sara burst on me.
" laa kna best friends for 12 years he suprised me aswell" i smiled

All of them were happy for me, m7md looked quite odd but he seemed happy.

I said my good byes and left back to my home. My real home.

I reached home, smiling.
"T3ali enty mta r7ty elmdrsa chthe?"
My mum stopped me right before i headed upstairs.
"3'yart shkli flmdrsa ma7bait elstyle"
I quickly responded.
"Mmmm enzain ro7i bdli w t3ali 3ndy m3ach mw9'oo3" she said.

I smiled stood there for a moment went kissed her forehead and headed upstairs.

@TheBlxg_

Questions or comments

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