7

I entered my room did my daily doings but this time quicker.

I wore a pink baggy t-shirt and light grey track suit wore any flip flop in front of me and quickly headed downstairs.

I went towards where my mum was sitting.

Her eyes were fixed to the ground.

When i approached her, she eye contacted me and gave me a proud smile.

She took away the pillow next to her so i could sit right next to her.

"T3ali ymi" she ordered, it wasn't an order but it felt like one.

I sat next to her, and took a silent deep breath, inhaling the freshly made bo5or that spreaded around the house quickly and her 3oud essence.

i don't know why but i had butterflies in me, i know somehow she'll bring up d3ay.

There was a silent moment as we both looked into one another.

"Shlounch mama?"

She said with a sound of caring in her something i longed to hear from her as she was always either at work or at one of her friends house, so it sent me raising an eye brow without feeling it, but i was able to say, "el7mdela couldn't ask for a better life" and tried not to sound weird in any way.

She smiled at me again, now my butterflies grew i could feel it going up to my heart and it was painful enough that made me feel nauseous from it.

This stayed for long she kept staring at my eyes as i did to her i smiled as she smiled her light brown eyes sparkled.

She broke the silence with a sigh and said,

"7beebty enty a7een kbrty w 9rty mra w hal sna btt5rjain w b3dain btdrsen fljam3a w e7tmal tn56bain..." And she paused.

As she talked i was looking down shyly when she said 'e7tmal tn56bain' i lifted my head with a poker face and widened my eyes at her, thought spreaded in my head 'why did she mention this' the word echoed in my head my heart started pounding the butterflies came back.

"Yes e7tmal, ams lama r7ty bra m3a d3ay ana w oma tklmna flmw9'o3 w ana mt2kda entw tklmtw 3na, w ana emwaf8a w oboch emwaf8, bs bga mwaf8tch w..."

I cutted her with complete shock, as in yes i know but not the whole proposing thing

"yma sam7eni g63tch bs ybeli afakr w d3ay gali elyoum ena 3azmni 3gb el3'da mshwar w adri shbegol lakni madri aby adrs w asht3'l b3dain e9er 5air"

I am not sure yet whether i like him or not.

He has been my best friend for 12 years,

And by only thinking that he'll marry me one day, raise kids with me and that we'll grow old together is just weird.

I tried to lie to myself mentally.

I didnt want to feel something that not true.

One of our maids entered "madam"

We both turned to face her.

She's short,tiny ,dark skinned and her face was full of wrinkles, u can easily know how old she is from the amount of wrinkles covering her face i think she was around 60 something bs mashala feha 3afya.

"Lunch" she said smiling.

"Okay okay bnyy" my mum said.

I smiled back.

My mum always was formal with them to show them who's the boss of who.

I didnt like that, i feel that we're all humans and that no one deserves to be treated different just because they work for us.

"Fkri feha" she smiled as she patted my back.

We got up and entered the dining room my dad was at work he comes by 4 pm but rarely earlier depending on the situation at work.

The dining room is fancy wallpaper and lots of modern decoration, the food on the table looked tasty and smelled tasty, but after the talk with my mum, my mood kinda changed i still have butterflies they grow stronger every time i think of d3ay, is it love or am i afraid of the coming future.

I looked at the machboos plate in front of me, a typical bahraini dish, and the salad plate on the corner left next to me which was in between me and my mum.

I took a shove of the rice and placed the chicken breast piece on to my plate, added salad on the corner edge of my plate.

I took few bites but played with my food in between, i could feel my mum would took glimpses of me from the corner of her eyes, as she ate her food.

I didn't feel like eating thought of what might happen just kept appearing in my head, the butterflies wont stop, i felt nauseous and for the first time not willing to eat any of this, but i forced my self to.

I just couldn't handle any of this feelings, i took a sip of the water that was already poured onto my glass before we arrived "el7mdela" and i got up.

My mum took a quick look at me and proceeded with her meal.

I went upstair straight to my room.

I threw myself on my bed and laid on my back facing the ceiling.

I kept thinking and thinking and thinking.

Do i love him.

is he right for me.

am i even doing the right thing.

Is this even worth thinking.

I want to scream so loud and get all this out of my head.

Then i thought I'm just making a big deal out of it, cause really it isn't hard to know if u love someone or not, right?

Right?!

My phone vibrated.

I forgot to change it.

I looked at the time it was 3 already.

I got a message from shaikha telling me 'I'm making a group for us if thats okay.'

I smiled and replied 'yes it's fine'

Without any moment to lose the group was made.

Shaikha: hi :D

Sara: hello :$

3ziz: hala obooi

9gr: thats quick

Waited for m7md but nothing.

Shaikha: hessa ,m7md hello?

I smiled again and replied at her.

Me: halla halla

3ziz: la shaklha ra9'3a

I made a disgusted look, shyby thee.

Me: esm7li i dont do that..

3ziz: enzain emsama7a :|

Yeah u know who's boss.

I didn't reply at them

I kept quiet went back to staring at the ceiling like it's the most interesting thing at the moment.

My head started pounding i closed my eyes to try and stop the feeling, which immediately sent me to an afternoon snooze..

I opened my eyes, i was still in the same position as before but my head tilted a little to the left.

I squinted as the light disturbed my eyes.

I clicked the button on the iphone i saw i had 2 missed calls from duaij and it was 5 already..

I quickly forced my self to sit on my bed and unlocked my phone and just before i called, he called.. Wow was that a coincident..

I waited few seconds just not to show that i was around my phone, and also to show that I'm not all over him in anyway.

I picked it up.

"Alo?!" He sounded worried.

"Hmm halla" i replied in my sleepy voice.

"Oh rgdty 3bali 9ar shy" he said full of relief.

I chuckled "la la el7mdela eb97a w 3afya"

"El7mdela ayy wala?" He asked

"Haih t3al bgom ajhz" i confirmed.

"Okay okay yala yai m3a elsalama" he said full of excitement he thought i don't know but i hear it in his voice.

I chuckled again "allah ysalmk"

And we hung up.

I got up to wash my face and prayed.

I quickly got ready but decided to wear dafa instead as i didn't want to call attention of any kind, last thing i want is attention while I'm with him.

Oh god that felt weird.

This whole thing is weird,

the fact that my parents approve of this is weird.

The fact i'm approving is weird.

What is happening to the world!

I finished getting ready i pressed on the perfume handle and pressed three times

On my shoulder and the middle of my neck.

I tried to look good, i always love to look good, it's a habit in me.

By now it's probably 5:30

Yeah i take long..

Just as i was holding my door's handle to open it, d3ay called.

I picked it up before saying hi, he quickly responded,

"Alo elsalam 3lekm?"

It wasn't him nor was it a familiar voice.

It sounded old and deeper.

"N3m?" I asked curiously.

The that anonymous man said something that made an echo in my head.

"Hthy 56ebta?" He asked certain of what he's saying.

"Laish?" I suddenly got worried.

This is something d3ay never does,

Let someone have his phone unless it's urgent.

My heart sunk a moment thinking the possibilities of the urgent matter.

My heart started pounding.

I could hear a crowd in the background.

Right after i asked the man anonymous man said,

"97b eltelefon swa 7adth w et9lt fe oma bs matrd w jrbt m3a e5tabbs mardt fa kona mt9l fech mn n9 sa3a gelt bthela w 7ab et5bren ahla ena bewdona el3skri agrb mstashfa allah ysa3da 56ah elshr"

I knew something bad will happen i had a feeling in me all day.

"3f-3fwan swa 7adth?" I said not able to speak properly, i felt like something more like a lump in my throat, just thinking about him making an accident made me want to cry even more.

Bad thoughts invaded my mind..

All kind of them mostly that he might die i prayed in my heart that he was alright.

The man said that i wasn't suppose to worry and that he was fine, the question here is how fine..

We hung up and i was in total shock from this.

I left my room, as i walked to the stairs, the world around me was slowly darkening the world felt uneven my head was pounding as i heard my heart beats in my ears, i started breathing weirdly.

I placed my hand on the walls to support me, i didn't want to collapse, he needed me the most now if i fainted i might not be present when he wakes up i want to see his peaceful face before he opens his eyes i wanted to be the first he sees.

I admit it now.

Im in love with him.

@TheBlxg_

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